My World， My Dreams

不是我的我

2011-03-09T22:54:00.000-05:00

我到底是个什么样的人？
我这个人是个不得平凡的平凡人
我写着生命里的不平凡故事
主角是我、奸角是我、导演是我
戴着爽快的面具怀疑
穿着帅气的衣裳隐藏
踏着朴实的鞋子沉重
然而故事说尽了只剩下我一个我
空房里的一个人、千万人之中的一个人

NMF 2009

2009-04-14T01:23:00.002-04:00

Happy Easter!!!

As for me, I've been spending Easter away from the normal hoohaa Easter bunnies and eggs.. As MHC dorms emptied for the Mount Holyokers scurried home for Easter, 4 Malaysians caught a craigslist ride to Yale University to attend a forum.. The Northeast Malaysia Forum 2009.. And I would add that I never regretted spending Easter this way..

We had 4 speakers from Malaysia and the they were web cast from Malaysia to all over the world.. The 4 speakers were:

Dina Zaman, author and CEO of My Future Foundation
Yusmadi Yusoff, MP for Balik Pulau
Khalid Samad, MP for Shah Alam
Dr. Fatimah Harun, paediatric endocrinologist at UM Medical Centre

KJ was supposedly part of the speakers but withdrew last minute due to a family emergency..

I met some of the most passionate, intelligent, articulate, eloquent, charismatic people I have ever met in the short 23 years of my life.. I met the future leaders and NGO and corporate leaders of our country.. Despite their high "success quotient", I could see that we all share the same love for our country.. One thing that amazes me was the degree of openness, transparency, and tolerance participants had. No doubt that this degree cannot be achieved in the country.. We discussed about the eonomy, education, racism, and our idea of One Malaysia.. I believe that these issues should discussed openly so that people are aware of the shortcoming of our country..

Besides serious discussions, we also spent time getting to know each other.. Befittingly, it has been a long time since I was surrounded by so many Malaysians.. Hence, we were in "Malaysian utopia" for about 2 days.. We also got to eat some Malaysian food which we missed..

On top of that, Yale University is absolutely gorgeous.. Gothic architecture.. It's like a MHC in a bigger, more magnificent scale.. Someone commented that it was like oxbridge.. We had our forum in the LC hall which houses the English Department.. I can't help but thinking that Jodie Foster once graced this hall as an English major in Yale..

I recently learned about a pre MBA program offered by Yale.. Most probably I would try my "blessings" by applying to join it for the summer semester.. I am sure it would be a rewarding experience..

For now, I have to get myself outside of Malaysian utopia and back into the world of midterms, papers,and finals.. I have another month to go before I'll be home again.. And I have to keep my eyes on the goal.. To those who are reading my blog, HAPPY BELATED EASTER, if there's such a thing...

Letter of Absence

2009-03-22T10:49:00.002-04:00

I haven't been updating as frequently as I said I should.. I've just finished a vacation to DC and NYC.. It was really a vacation.. One that you don't really need another vacation to recover from.. Haha.. Before that vacation, I was busy with my midterms.. So now you'll see why I haven't been updating much.. I really admire those people who can blog when they're having their midterms and blog when their on vacation.. haiizzz...

Let me rewind to the week before my midterms.. Let's see.. What did I do that is interesting enough to actually blog about..(thinking...thinking...)OH!! I crashed a wedding on my campus.. Remember me blogging about the church that my dorm is next to? It was held there.. Lalala.. My and Amy had lunch one Saturday and I decided to take a walk to the library (next to Abbey Chapel).. Amy was supposed to actually go INTO the library.. Haha.. Instead, we ended up in the chapel..(sneak..sneak)We went right in and sat near the main entrance albeit in our jeans and carpi.. Everyone was really dolled up you know.. We had to pretend that we didn't exist.. We even brushed through a very stressed out bride.. Haha.. I guess that will happen to people who are getting married..

It was a Catholic wedding (or so Amy decided.. She was way more experienced with denominations anyway..).. And we sat through the whole ceremony.. Haha.. There was a point where everyone was supposed to greet members of the congregation.. I greeted Amy and she greeted back.. And wait.. someone sitting way in front of us was greeting us.. We waved back.. OH!! Then it dawned upon us that we WERN'T supposed to exist!! And our presence was not to be felt.. Haha..

Fast forward to later at night.. We went to AC Night!! WOOOHOOO!! African-Caribbean Night was great!! I particularly liked the food..( very similar to sambal, man!!!) Then we were treated to another 2 hours of performance.. And man!! They can really dance.. Everything was about body language.. I also enjoyed the rhythmic music..(me being a drummer and all)

We went home tired and satisfied that our day was "wasted" on unproductive measures again.. Haha...

I'll blog about my DC and NYC trip next.. Stay tune..

Bitter Winter is returning in West Mass.

2009-03-02T16:32:00.004-05:00

Snow!!!! OMG!!It's supposed to be spring... Just when I was welcoming spring.. :(.. Yesterday, I still can see the green in Blanchard Circle.. Today, it's totally covered in at least a feet of snow!! It's kinda like now you see it now you don't.. :(..

Nevertheless, I went out with the intention of tray sledging with some of my friends.. Even managed to take some pictures of my candid campus when I was walking to meet them.. Introducing........TADA!!!

Skinner Hall where I take my Macro Theory every Monday and Wednesday

Wilder where all my fav foods are..:)

Blanchard Student Center

That's where I met up with Hannah and Nina.. Then i found out that Russo is going too.. So the four of us head off to the hillside near Ham.. It was a long walk in the snow, albeit a hard one too..

Me and the pole

After all that trekking, we found out that the tray doesn't work so Hannah and Nina decided to make snow angels instead!! Haha..

So much for the day.. Got to get back to nerding.. :(

Music back to back

2009-03-01T21:12:00.003-05:00

Hehe.. Why this title?? It's because I've been treated to music events week after week.. Last week, I went to the Mozart's Requiem.. This week, I went to two events!!
Even better, two different events that completely satisfy my diverse taste for music!! And this is all thanks to.... TADA!! Amy!! We've kind of made a deal.. She'll look out for all the musical events and I'll look out for anything etc that is interesting.. Hehe.. Thanks to Amy, I had a wonder time indulging myself in music..

The first musical event I went to this week was on friday.. It was a faculty recital.. Amy's flute teacher was performing.. So wth, must go la!!! The whole recital was done with flute and piano only.. I totally enjoy it!! After that, we were treated to a reception.. Haha.. I even got an offer to play with the Klezmer band that Amy's teacher was in charge of.. Klezmer music originates in Eastern Europe.. It is actually very Yiddish..

After the recital, we headed off to a semi drinking, semi chill-out party in a friend's room nearby.. It was fun time talking and drinking.. We even had crazy photo sessions.. Hehe..

The next event I went to was a real treat!!! Dave Pietro in concert with Jazz@Amherst!! The guy was totally amazing with the sax!!! I also liked the drummer Mark Ferber.. Totally made me wanted to play Jazz drums!! After that got reception again (totally guilty...:$.. been eating too much these days..).. Luckily got a friend to share choc chip cookies with.. Hey, at least she saved me from gulping the whole piece and salvaged some of the damage..wth.. Oh... btw.. that's not the only piece I ate.. (tambah guilty...:$)

There's always something I want to do around here.. Get this!! Every week, there is a campus wide party going on around campus.. One week it'll be China Night, the next will be Korean Night.. Next week is African-Caribbean Night... hehe.. And if I don't want to go to any of these, there are bound to be something that will interest me in the 4 college surrounding this area..

Next week will be Amy's debut with my college's Jazz band.. She's playing tenor sax.. I'm definitely ending work early to go to this one!! What are roommates for!! Ever since I've room with her, I been learning more and more about music.. Before, I just enjoy the music... Now, I know what's going on behind everything.. Well, the next two weeks before spring break will be crazy for me as I go through my first midterms..ss...sss..(Get the "s"??) Nice to have music to balance me out a bit..

P/S I found out that the Malaysian gang tried to contact me on friday.. Mamasan told me that they were going to play mahjong...AND.... “SAM QUET YAT" (Three less one!!) OMG!!!!! That was SSSSOOOOOO tempting... In the end, they had to go without me.. Wth, the inconvenience of not having a phone.. But I totally would have gone to the recital anyways.... :)

Lecciónes de Español con la Profesora Amy

2009-02-25T16:41:00.010-05:00

Spanish Lessons with Professor Amy

I've been trying to learn Spanish lately.. It all started out with a Spanish word a day before bed.. We were doing this learn-a-word-a-day thingy between me and Amy.. She'll teach me Spanish, and I'll teach her the same word in Chinese.. I'll admit!! I'm better in Spanish than she is in Chinese.. Hehe.. I'm a good student.. :).. Ok, most probably she's a better teacher than I am.. :$

Anyway, I've decided to blog about my progress thus far.. And also the funny incidents that came up.. Hehe..

First, let me start by the way I'm learning Spanish.. I'm learning Spanish through songs!!! Not just any song, Hillsong worship songs!! Hehe.. Currently, I'm learning "Abre mis ojos oh Cristo", which translate as "Open my Eyes Oh Christ".. But in fact, the song is actually "Open the Eyes of My Heart"..

Also, I'm learning Spanish through everyday conversations.. I will constantly interrupt Amy for all that "Eh, how to say this in Spanish ar?".. ~Blish~ Hope she doesn't get sick of me.. Hehe.. Currently, I know how to say the different forms of bless you when someone sneezes (yes, there are different blessings for a sneeze.. Haha..), all the greetings, excuse me, yes, no, good..etc..
I also just learned how to express my feeling.. Like I'm hungry (most often used) and I'm cold (second often used).. Speaking of which, something really funny came up when I was learning I am hungry.. It all began with a conversation.. Don't remember the details, but it was something like this..

Profesora Amy: Tengo hambre!!!
Estudiante Stefanie: ???? (with a bizarre look)
Profesora Amy: I am hungry!!!
Estudiante Stefanie: Oh, that's how you say I am hungry in Spanish...
Tengo hambre too!!
Profesora Amy: Tengo hambre también
Estudiante Stefanie: Oh, tengo hambre también!!
Profesora Amy: ¿Tienes hambre??
Estudiante Stefanie: ???
Profesora Amy: It's a question..
Estudiante Stefanie: Oh... Si.. Tengo hambre!! (sudah ada ummpphh!!! Wakaka...)
Profesora Amy: Hombre is man in Spanish.. So, tengo hombre is I have a man in Spanish..
Estidiante Stefanie: (Being a good student) Oh ok...
Profesora Amy: ¿Tienes hombre??
Estudiante Stefanie: (With ummpphh) Si.. Tengo hombre!!
Profesora Amy:...........
Estudiante Stefanie: ....................OH!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

So much for hunger and the opposite sex.. Hahaha... Now, you can't blame me for this.. After all, I'm studying in a women college.. Haha...

State of Union Address

2009-02-24T22:49:00.006-05:00

This is my first time listening to this very important address to the American people.. Basically it's the POTUS giving his yearly resolution for the country.. Kind of like me making new resolutions every new year (most of them are unfulfilled anyway).. But let's hope the POTUS is not like me.. hehe.. WTHeck, if the POTUS is like me then I must as well run for the POTUS!! haha.. O wait!! Cannot cause I'm not US citizen.. Kakaka.. Ok, maybe I'll run for MP in another 10 years time.. Who knows... A girl is allowed to dream!! Especially young people, who is going to be the next generation in Malaysia..!!!

Speaking of dreams, I do have great dreams for my beloved country Malaysia.. It's too early to say now, but I do hope to go back and settle down in Malaysia, despite what everyone says.. But wait!! I have freaking loans in USD to settle before going back.. :(

Back to my dreams for Malaysia, I will definitely run the country differently if I were in charge.. I believe that racial segregation should stop and that we're all bangsa Malaysia.. with no class of citizenship.. I believe that we should have a system based on merit.. That our children should be offer the same chance , without different university entrance exams (STPM & Matrikulasi).. I believe that we should have transparency.. That every government transaction should be accounted for and open to scrutiny.. And that we shouldn't have to pay hundreds of Ringgit for a set of screwdrivers.. I believe that we should employ the best minds to run our country.. Even if it means giving some ministerial position to the opposition.. That way, we won't have ministers who cannot even differentiate the pronunciation of "erection" from "election".. Dreams.. everyone should be allowed to have them..

To tell the truth, I was quite impressed by parts of Obama's State of Union address.. He's been going back to the basics, emphasizing health care for everyone, education starts in the family etc.. He seems to know what is important.. Anywayz, it is good that he is focusing inwards instead of outwards.. But as Amy said, we will have to see what he does, not what he says.. May God give him the wisdom to lead the US out of this crisis..

Music to my ears....

2009-02-24T01:00:00.012-05:00

Date: Saturday, Feb 21st
Time: 8pm
Venue: Abbey Memorial Chapel, Mount Holyoke College
Event: Mozart Requiem!!!

Haha.. Enough of the formality... This is my first experience listening to this full piece by the genius Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.. It was performed by the Mount Holyoke Glee Club and the University of Virginia Glee Club.. We even had a full orchestra!! WOHO!! MOHO!! Before the Requiem, both glee clubs entertained us with some songs of their own, some of which is quite funny.. To think that institutions like these have silly songs is mind blowing!! So much for nerds.. Haha..

Let me tell you a bit about glee clubs for those of you who do not know what they are... Glee clubs are like choirs, just that you only have altos and sopranos or tenors and bases only.. Yup, you guessed it!! All girls or all guys only!! Apparently, both our glee clubs are amongst the oldest in the country.. The Virginia Glee Club is also amongst the best.. So I was treated to a night of spectacular performance in a historic chapel, which has a very high celling and serves to project the sound waves. And the best part is... IT'S FREE!!!

Ok.. To tell you the true, I don't understand what they are singing about most of the time.. Why?? Because the Requiem is sung in Latin.. And unless I want to "Kek" my mom by changing major again, I will not understand it in this life time or the next.. (Unless God wants to give me sudden enlightenment la..hehe..) Despite not understanding a word they are singing, I truely enjoy the uplifting session..

If you're wondering how I ended up there instead of going to the supposedly more interesting Drag Ball ( cross-dressing ball), it's because of my wonderful roomate.. Hehe.. She's this super cun girl who minors in Music and can play the flute and sax.. Adding to that, she's a chorale and chamber singer.. We were having dinner when suddenly she say:"Let's go to this one".. Trying to act kewl, I replied:" Oh, I was thinking of going to this one too." But in fact I was just planning to stay in the room and nerd for the rest of my life..( No life la..Haizzz..) So, it was a random act.. Random act + random moment + random time = fated to go lo.. Haizz...

Plus, the Abbey Chapel is just right next to my dorm.. Na, imagine this.. Waking up everyday to the sound of church bells.. Opening the window and a breeze of fresh air gently swirls in (freezing cold air la, no doubt..hehe..) Birds on the trees singing and chirping (I'm sure got wan, in spring time.. Now the birds either got frozen, or hibernating..haha..) This, is the environment I'm in.. AH...... Heaven..( almost, if without all that readings and assignments,haizzz..)

Not to forget my sweet roommie from Kansas.......Minnesota... Colorado.... California..... and Massachusetts... Don't get me wrong.. I've got one roommie only, K... Just that she's been EVERYWHERE!!! Literally everywhere that I mentioned.. Even took a year off to Colombia, man!! And now she speaks Spanish like kacang putih and I'm picking up whatever kacang that falls on the ground.. If she can pick it up within a year of immersion, I can pick it up within the two years that we plan to stick together... ~determined look~

Haha!! This is her watching something for her Spanish class.. Super serious killer look.. I took this pic when she didn't notice.. So probably she'll kill me with that same look on her face when she finds out..

Jeje.. So, Amy... Like what I said about you?? I did give you heads up that I was going to blog about you.. jeje..

Oh yah, right to pictures of Amy on this page belongs solely to Amy F. Bradshaw..

Peace...Out...

Long Time No Blog!!

2009-02-20T22:43:00.001-05:00

Wakakaka!!!!
Thinking back on why I started this blog, I come to sense that it has recently realize its purpose... Why?? Because I'm at the college of my dreams! Wait..wait..wait.. Let me gather my thoughts and state properly... Cannot jump ahead and except people to understand la!! DUH!! Ok..Ok.. Now let me start the story..

In the beginning, I applied to college expecting to get into one of my first choice.. Eh, I got good grades wan ok!!! But, malang tidak berbau, not one of them kena jackpot.. So instead I ended up in Hiram College.. Couldn't complain.. I got to know some of the bestest people there.. But then came the problem of courses and major.. I wanted so much to do IR ( political science jargon: international relations), most probably IPE (again another political science jargon: international political economy).. NA, if you know what IR is about, you know how important it is to have like a variety of courses.. Not kidding kay!! Like a whole lot of variety in courses!! Let me break this down for you.. Mua's definition of IR is it is a combination of Political Science, Culture, History, Language,etc..etc.. Why the etc?? Because basically anything with an international focus can somehow fit into IR!! Knowing me la...I like to do EVERYTHING!! So IR loh!!

Ok..Ok.. Before I head of too far, let me finish my story.. Hiram College didn't have that variety of courses to accommodate my interest.. (WAH SEH!!Accomodate PULAK..) So... bottom line is transfer loh.. I applied again to my first choice and another school in California.. TADADADA!!! I got in both..(hehehehe.. hidung tinggi) Then I decided to go to my first choice.. (First choice ma.. Hello! It wouldn't be called first choice if I won't be picking it FIRST over the other school) This school damn cun-ted man!! Women college.. Plus I get to take courses from 4 additional schools nearby.. Adding to that is the 4 schools also damn cun-ted wan leh.. Like DAMN cun-ted!! LOL!! Ok..Ok.. Enough of promoting my school..~blish

Now that I've attained the previously unachievable, (wah che!!) I feel like my college career in US has just started. And I started this blog just to document my college career.. and also people back home can read about what's happening to me la.. hehe..

Ok..Ok.. I got to go back to nerding dy... (The underhand of attending this college, nerd 24/7) But can't complain.. :)

P/S After all that, I decided to major in Economics and minor in IR instead.. But who knows, can change anytime.. But don't freak out mom!! I promise you it's definitely Econs, IR, and Political Science.. The problem is which one I major and minor in...

I don't want to miss a thing!

2008-08-05T23:45:00.002-04:00

I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
cause I miss you baby
and I don't wanna miss a thing!

这首歌可以反映我现在的心情。我不想错过家人生命力的每一刻。可能几年间的经历让我学会了“珍惜眼前人”。往后的那几年就是另外一课吧！现在的我充分地体会了不想分手却又不得分手的感觉。不是爱情，而是亲情。对我来说，亲情比爱情重要！

目的

2008-08-04T23:04:00.001-04:00

今天，是阴晴的一天。。
不知为何，就会想起下个星期的大事。我，晨忆，将会离开生活了二十二年的地方到美国去深造。现在想起这个影响一生的决定，就会责骂自己当初的仓决。

当踏上这一条可能有去无回的大道，就会放弃了很多自己珍惜了多年的东西。但同时会得到很多在家的时候没有可能得到的东西。可能失去的会比得到的多吧！我自认我是一个恋家的人。时间大都是花在家人的身上。所谓：“在家千日好”。但我同时拥有“浸过咸水”的心态，是个很有梦想的人。我认为在美国深造可以得到更多的机会。可能这就是真正让我下定决心的原应吧！

现在的马来西亚，可以说是在蜕变的边缘。真的很期待实情可以往理想的方面发展。这样的话我就会有在一次踏上这片土地的可能。